An Alter Ego
by sammy123348
Summary: John Watson has a secret; a secret that not even his best friend, The great detective Sherlock Holmes, knows. John Watson, the ex-army doctor, is a murderer. He has killed multiple people and has yet to be caught. JohnLock starts in ch 2! possible violence and who knows what else!
1. The First Death

John was a trained killer thanks to the army. He had never actually killed anyone while he was out in the field but he knew how to if he needed to. The killing didn't start until he was back home in London after he was honorably discharged for being shot. The first time it happened John was in the middle of a flash back, he thought that he was back in Afghanistan being shot at. He had instinctively reached for his gun, (the gun he always carried with him) to shoot back at the enemy. The poor girl didn't even see it coming. She was walking in front of John, minding her own business. She was heading to work; she was already late as it was. John had shot her almost point blank in the back of the head.

The sound of actual gunfire brought John back to reality. It was then that he realized what had happened, what he had done. He couldn't believe it. Had he really just killed someone? His gun still raised in his hands, he began shaking. He wasn't quite sure what to do exactly; he most certainly did not want to go to prison right after got back from the war. He had finally found a flat mate, even if he was bit eccentric for John's liking. Nonetheless he liked his new flat mate because he was smart. Smart enough to take one look at someone and know everything about them. He also wasn't afraid to tell you either. John had thought that that was really cool.

John stood over the body of the dead girl thinking about what to do. He decided that as bad as it was he was going to leave the body. He made sure that he didn't leave any trace evidence that would link him to this girl. After that he phoned DI Lastrade telling him that he had just found a dead body near his flat. John had decided that his story would be that he had been walking to the store to get some groceries (the flat was somehow always empty) when he had found the girl's body. He knew that this would be a plausible enough lie, one that he knew Sherlock would even believe because John really was headed to the store. Lastrade even believed him, because as far as he knew, John was a good guy.

Lastrade had phoned Sherlock to come look at the crime scene, but it just made Sherlock mad because there was not enough evidence. Nothing to incriminate anyone, it looked as if the girl was followed; shot and the killer immediately ran away. But there were no foot prints, no fingerprints, no nothing. This made Sherlock livid. He hated crime scenes like this. So needless to say the crime went to cold cases. Sherlock hated cold cases; he hated leaving a crime unsolved. He also hated not having answers. John on the other hand felt a whole hell of a lot better knowing that the case went cold. John wasn't even a suspect.

As much as John felt guilty he refused to admit to murder.


	2. Experiments

**A/N Sorry the first chapter was so short, i do hope that that wont happen again, but when i originally wrote it, it was somehow longer. anyways heres Ch 2 with promised JohnLock. there is some smut in this chapter so be warned. some language as well. but i do hope that you guys like it. **

Months had passed since the murder happened and things were just as normal as before. John was even beginning to forget about what had happened. Of course he hadn't told anyone and he was never going to. It was most certainly not going to happen again, he would make sure of that.

It had almost been a year since John had moved in with Sherlock and he loved living with the crazy man. They had become best friends, but Sherlock would never admit to that and neither would John. Why? Because Sherlock doesn't have friends. And John was ok with that; John was just an important person in Sherlock's life. From the very first case, A Study in Pink, Sherlock and John knew they would be great friends. It wasn't long before people began spreading rumors about the two. Mostly they just said they were gay and together, no matter how hard John protested these rumors kept circulating. Sherlock didn't care what people thought, unless they thought he was stupid, no he didn't like being called stupid. So for the rumors he really didn't care, in fact he thought they were funny, only because he knew the truth.

Together they had solved a number of cases, from murders to simple thefts, to drug rings. After solving each case they would go to Angelo's for dinner or breakfast depending on when they finished said case. Tonight was no different. John and Sherlock had just finished a thrilling chase and had captured a psycho murderer. The case had lasted about three days from beginning to end and neither of the boys had eaten the entire time. When they arrived at Angelo's they were seated at their usual table by the front window. Sherlock loved sitting here because he could look out the window when he was bored. They were given their menus, John couldn't decide what he wanted to eat tonight but Sherlock always got the same thing so he didn't even bother looking at said menu.

"John?" Sherlock said staring at him.

"Hmm…..oh what?" John replied only half listening; he was still deciding what he wanted to eat. Did he want to stick with his usual or try something new?

"I think…..I think that I love you John. And before you say anything, yes I know that I said I considered myself married to my work and yes by the way I do in fact know that you are straight. But I love you anyways. I just thought that you should know is all."

John looked at Sherlock unsure of what to say. "Sherlock. Wow. I'm speechless, I mean I am flattered but as you said yourself I'm not gay." He paused, thinking. "Although, I think that I might be willing to, let's say, experiment. But only with you of course. Wait, hang on. I thought you didn't date cuz ya know you're married to your work. Everyone at The Yard thinks you're asexual but now you're telling me yes you do in fact date and on top of that you're gay?! And and and you love me to boot!"

"Really John? You would be willing to experiment with me?" Sherlock was beaming he was so excited. "And yes I am gay, always have been. I just have chosen not to date because everyone that I have ever met was either to stupid or they simply hated me. Therefore I had just given up on the idea of ever meeting anyone worthy, well until I met you of course. And yes I am aware of what The Yard thinks of me but honestly I could care less, it's none of their business really."

"Wow!" That's all John could say.

Once their food had arrived neither of them really had much to say, for they were too busy scarfing down their food. It didn't take them long to finish their food of course. Both boys wanted to go home so that could 'experiment'. They eagerly paid the bill and hailed a cab to take them home to 221B Baker St. Sherlock for once paid the cabbie upon arrival at their flat, while John unlocked the door and headed upstairs, Sherlock of course was not far behind him. John had sat down in his chair ready and waiting for Sherlock to join him. Sherlock of course knowing this took his sweet time in coming upstairs and taking his coat off. John hadn't the slightest idea of what they were going to do tonight but nonetheless he was excited. Sherlock on the other hand practically had the whole night planned out when John had agreed on 'experimenting'. He wanted to take it slow however; he didn't want to scare John away on the first night. He just wanted to start with something simple such as kissing, making out. As much as he wanted to have sex with John he told himself he would have to wait, but of course if John wanted to, well then he certainly would not say no to him.

Sherlock finally made his way over to his chair across from John. But instead of sitting he turned and looked at John with longing eyes. He had wanted this for some time now but was unsure if he should tell John or not. He leaned down and kissed John. Just a simple kiss, no tongue, not too much passion; just simply a kiss. He wanted to see how John would react before going to crazy. John however was the one that continued kissing and he was the one that made it a deep passionate kiss. Neither pulled away. It quickly turned into a steamy make out session where John had pushed Sherlock into his chair and was now sitting atop the man. He curled his fingers into Sherlock's curly hair and gently pulled on it as he kissed Sherlock. Sherlock had his arms wrapped around Johns body holding him close, he was afraid to let him go, for fear if he did the night would end. Suddenly John began to unbutton Sherlock's shirt. He tore it off of the man's shoulders, wanting to be able to explore Sherlock's body with his hands. Sherlock quickly got the hint and shrugged his shirt off the rest of the way, he himself began tugging at John's infernal jumper (the one that he ALWAYS wore, despite Sherlock telling him it was hideous), trying to get it off of him, once it was off he still had to undo the buttons on John's shirt; which he did quickly. By now both of the men were shirtless and were exploring each other's bodies. They only ever stopped kissing for air.

"Sh-Sherlock lets go to your room." John said between kisses.

Sherlock was more than happy to lead the way. John had never really been in Sherlock's room before now. The room was painted a dark maroonish color with white trim and beige carpet. There were black curtains on the only window in the room. To John's surprise the room was actually fairly clean unlike the rest of the house. There was also a bookshelf filled to the brim with science and medical books and also some classic titles as well. John didn't know Sherlock read really either. The bed was a large king sized bed with sheets matching the color scheme of the room, maroon and black. All in all the room fit Sherlock to a t. Sherlock pushed John down onto the bed and continued kissing him. John quickly took Sherlock's pants off leaving the man in nothing but his boxers, which were, surprise surprise, maroon and black. John made a mental note to ask if maroon was Sherlock's favorite color. Sherlock followed suit in undressing John till all that the man had on was also his underwear as well. Although that did not last long, Sherlock couldn't take it anymore; fuck the idea of waiting on John to want to have sex.

"John, I want to fuck the living brains out of you, right now!" Sherlock couldn't stand it anymore; his boxers were becoming too tight, he had to take them off. He grabbed the bottle of lube he kept in his night stand and put some on his fingers. He slowly put one finger into John's ass, not wanting to hurt him. He began to slowly move back and forth gaining speed, when he felt that John was beginning to stretch a bit he put another finger in. John gasped at this, there was pain but that quickly turned to pleasure. All John could do was moan in ecstasy. He had never felt this way before and he liked it. He grabbed Sherlock's length in his hand and started to move up and down on it with his hand. He gave it a little squeeze as he went up and don't. This of course made Sherlock moan. Sherlock finally put another finger in John, causing more pleasure than pain.

"God, Sherlock just give it to me all ready! I've been shot at, I think that I can handle you inside me!" with that Sherlock put lube on his hard cock and entered John. He didn't start thrusting right away, he wanted to wait for John to loosen up a bit before he carried on. Once John had indeed loosened up Sherlock began thrusting slowly but once he was in all the way he couldn't slow himself down. At this pace he wouldn't last long and he knew that, but it had been too long since the last time he had had sex that he simply had no control over his body. "Oh God Sherlock, your amazing! God, don't stop, fucking hell, I've never felt this amazing in my life!" "John, I'm not going to last much longer. But I really do hope you are thoroughly enjoying this" Sherlock panted. And with that said, Sherlock felt John's body tighten around him and they both came at the same time. Both shouting each others name at the same time.

"Oh my God! Sherlock that was amazing." John said while panting heavily. "I honestly think that was the best sex I have ever had."

Sherlock carefully pulled out of John so that he could lay next him in bed. "I do hope that we keep 'experimenting' like this in the future. I do agree John that most certainly was amazing!"

**So now that we have established the relationship, will john confess to sherlock that he was in fact the one that he killed that girl months ago? hmm i dont even know myself and im the author! I am just starting chapter 3 so im not sure when it will be posted but trust me it will be soon, i dont want to make you guys wait forever. and yes i can already tell you that yes there will there will be more murders. I just had to write this chapter first or else the writing gremlins would have gotten me! Yipes! anyways please let me know what you think so far, i happily except constructive criticism, i may even except ideas on where to lead the story. **


	3. Xmas in Idaho :D

**Merry Christmas!**

**I just want to let you know that I am working on rewriting chapters for this story, i havent forgotten about it, just been busy with the holidays, but now that xmas is over i will have time to work on it again :D i think i am almost done with chapter 2 so it should be up soon.**


	4. Afghanistan

**So for those of you fantastic people that have begun following this story i just want to let you know that i have finally posted the other version of this story as well, the relationship doesnt take off in ch 2 like this one. this chapter is alot of dialogue and im sorry for that...no im not lol. i hope that you guys like it and keep following me and my work. every time i get notified of a new follower i get so excited. it reminds me that i need to keep writing, i have fans waiting to see what happens.**

* * *

John awoke the next morning slightly confused. He was naked and in someone else's bedroom. He couldn't remember going out with anyone other than Sherlock. Sherlock! This was Sherlock's bedroom! But where was the detective? It was then that John heard dishes clattering in the kitchen, was that Sherlock cooking? He never cooked. And with that thought, John quickly got out of bed and put his pants on to head to the kitchen. Upon arrival he was surprised to see the table set and ready for breakfast.

"Oh, good! You're up, I made breakfast. What?" said Sherlock; John was looking at him with a very confused look. Sherlock placed two plates full of food on the table and began making tea.

"Sherlock, what's the occasion? I have never once seen you cook this whole time I've lived with you. In fact I didn't even know you could cook at all. Should I be scared to eat this? Uh….it's not poisoned is it? I still don't fully trust you after Baskerville and all. Sorry I just don't." John sat down and cautiously began eating. To his surprise it was actually really good.

"I should be offended but I'm not, yes I can cook…..sort of. How do you think I survived on my own, I didn't always have the lovely Mrs. Hudson to take care of me. I just choose not to cook because I know either you will or Mrs. Hudson will; besides you are much better cook than I could ever be. And as for the special occasion, it's just my way of saying that I love you." He reached down and kissed John before he sat down to eat. "Oh for goodness sakes, John, would you let that go. I realize now that it was very obvious that it was not the sugar. I'm sorry I used you as a guinea pig, ok. I have no reason to be poisoning you."

* * *

Breakfast came and went; the day went about just like any other day. Both men were in the living room reading, enjoying the fact they had the day off and that it was a quiet day. John was in his favorite arm chair reading an old medical journal he had recently found in some of Sherlock's things. Sherlock was reading the newspaper on the couch. Suddenly John threw the book and started screaming and cursing loudly. Sherlock jumped at the scene before him, he had no idea what was going on of course.

John was back in Afghanistan. Once again under fire but this time he was unprepared, he was unarmed. He panicked; he didn't know what to do, this had never happened before. He never went anywhere without his gun. All he could do was look for safe shelter and wait. All the while cursing. Suddenly someone was shouting his name. Was it someone in his troop? Did they need his help?

"JOHN! JOHN! Can you hear me? John!?" Sherlock had his hands on the Dr.'s shoulders trying to shake him back to reality. He had never seen this happen before. He knew that John had the occasional nightmare about being back in the war, but he had never seen him have a flashback during the day. He couldn't think of a trigger that would have caused it. There were no loud sounds or anything else that might have triggered it. Sherlock was at a loss.

John could not for the life of him find the person shouting at him, there was no one needing medical attention. But he could still hear someone shouting his name. All he could see was his troop in the desert firing at the enemy. There was a shadow in the distance; the shadow was just standing there, no weapons aimed towards John. It dawned on him; the shadow was the one calling his name. He cautiously began running towards the shadow. He was unsure whether they were on his side or not but they wanted him, so he went anyways. To his surprise it was Sherlock, he looked happy to see John. Sherlock hugged John without saying anything. "Sherlock, what are you doing here? Why are you in Afghanistan?"

That was the first coherent thing the doctor had said in the last twenty minutes. He had been rambling nonsense up till this point. "What are you talking about John? We are both in London; both of us are in our flat. 221B Baker St. Are you ok John?"

"London is safer than here; you need to go back Sherlock. I don't want you to get hurt. You don't even have any protective gear….."

Sherlock didn't know what he was supposed to do in this kind of situation, so he called Mycroft. He would know what to do; thought Sherlock.

"Mycroft! You've got to help me; I think there is something wrong with John." Sherlock said to his brother on the other end of the phone.

"_What do you mean there is something wrong with John? Where is he? I assume he is with you."_

"Yes of course he's with me, where else would he be. I think he might be having a flashback but I'm…I'm not sure. He's not really saying anything and what he has said doesn't make sense. I think he thinks he is back in Afghanistan. For once I honestly don't know what to do, brother."

"_Well it does indeed sound like a flashback, all you can do is give him space, it is possible for him to get violent in his state. If he was talking to you then keep talking with him. It might help. Other than that I really am not sure that I can help you. Sorry"_

"Um well thanks Mycroft, you really are a big help. And yes that was sarcasm dear brother. Goodbye"

Sherlock went back to where John was still sitting, the doctor hadn't moved and he was still rambling about how unsafe it was in Afghanistan.

"….I still don't get why you are here Sherlock, I told you to leave. I don't want to see you get hurt. I love you Sherlock please leave so I know that you're safe." John pleaded.

"John, its ok I can take care of myself. But I'll leave only if you come with me, I don't want to see you get hurt either." Sherlock said, cupping his hands around John's face lovingly.

And that's when John came to.

Blinking a few times John slowly realized where he was and that Sherlock had his hands on his face. Sherlock also had a worried look on his face; John had never seen this look on his face before. "Wh-what happened, what's wrong?" John asked still confused.

"John, do you know where you are?"

"Y-yes. I'm in my flat, in London. "John knew what it meant if he had been asked that question: either he had hit his head and had a possible concussion or he had a flashback of the war. He was kind of hoping for the first one. He really hoped that he hadn't had a flashback in front of Sherlock, and if he did that meant they were getting bad again.

"Do you know the address of the flat?"

"221 B Baker Street, why are you asking me this? What what happened Sherlock?"

"You had a flashback and thought that you were in Afghanistan again, from what I could tell you were under fire. You also thought I was there as well."

"Oh…..God." he said as he put his face in his hands. They were happening again. Instead of just having nightmares they were happening during the day again. The problem this time was John couldn't remember if there was a trigger that had set him off. Normally this didn't happen unless he was asleep or there was a trigger; like a loud boom. But all he could remember was sitting across the room from Sherlock in the living room and reading a book. Nothing had scared him or anything.

"Are you okay John?" Sherlock was worried for his friend; he had never seen him like this before.

"Um…yea I think so. I could use a drink though…." He made to get up but was pushed back down by Sherlock.

"NO! I will get it. Is tea fine?" Sherlock practically ran to the kitchen.

"Yea its fine, Sherlock really I am okay. This has happened before I'll be fine. I just need some time to…..relax, is all." Easier said than done and John knew that.

Sherlock finished making the tea and brought back two cups, one for each. He handed John his. "You sure? Uh is there anything that I could do to help? What do you do normally when this happens?"

"Yes I'm sure. Um…..normally I remove myself from what's going on around me, I leave and go somewhere else, if possible. Normally there is some kind of trigger that set off the flashback…..there wasn't one this time. Not one that I can think of. Usually it's just something as simple as a loud booming sound, sometimes it'll be a conversation that reminds me of something that happened. But this time I was just reading and then I was gone. I really don't know what happened. I don't know if you could help Sherlock. Maybe just keep talking to me, get me thinking of something else."

"Um….okay…uh….John I'm really not good at small talk." Sherlock admitted, it was true he tried at all costs to avoid it. he hated it.

"Anything good in the newspaper? Have you heard from Lestrade today?"

"No, not really although a trolleybus in Russia exploded*. And no my phone has made a single sound all day surprisingly. Even if he did call I don't think you are fit to be going out and solving a case with me."

"Sherlock, I'm fine, really. You're not helping me relax by coddling me."

"Sorry John, I've just never seen you like that before. It….it scared me okay."

"It's okay, I understand. I would probably freak out too if you acted like this too."

"Of course you would, you're so sentimental."

"Yes, yes I am. Oh by the way last night was fun, I never thought I would have so much fun with a guy let alone you."

"Ya know John, experimenting would really help you relax, and I could make it even better than last night."

"Your right, it would help. Oh I forgot to ask; is maroon your favorite color?"

"Yes." Sherlock said as he kissed John passionately.

* * *

***the trolleybus in russia actually happened, 10 people died, possible terrorist attack. it happened on 12/29/13**

**ooh whats gonna happen next? hah! i dont know either...really i dont, im thinking maybe another murder? What do u guys want to see happen? im open to suggestions. and yes btw i do know i made sherlock sound a little wimpy and stupid during the flashback but he was scared and i didnt know how else to convey that for him.  
**


End file.
